Wanting It Badly

To this day, I still almost nod in agreement each time I recall the classic words of my old professor in Criminal Law: "There are only two things in life that you pray you will never have to do twice: To get married, and to take the Bar exams."  I remember that our entire class laughed when we first heard the line. It sounded more like a punchline back then, especially to us clueless freshmen who had no idea of what law school and life really had in store for us. 

By the time I was wrapping up my fourth and last year in law school, I already knew that my professor's words had been true all along. I can still recall how, while I was taking the Bar exams back in '02, I was extremely careful about all the things I said, did, and thought --- in the hope of attracting enough good karma to help me hurdle what arguably is the toughest licensure exam in the country. After four years of the Socratic Method, tens of thousands of pages read, countless cases digested, and six long months of living like a hermit as I prepared for the Bar exams, I was sure as hell that I did not want to take the freaking test more than once (and I never did - one click!). 

It was pretty much the same way when my wife and I were preparing for our wedding back in '04.  Given the amount of preparation and sacrifice that we both poured into making sure that everything would work out right on our wedding day (we saved up and spent for everything), we knew that we had to steer clear of anything that would and could ruin the event. I recall that we observed practically every bit of superstition with a shrug of the shoulder, and just reminded ourselves that "we won't lose anything naman if we do it."

Over dinner last Monday, I confided in my wife and told her how dejected I felt over the possibility of missing BDM 102 because of my injury. And why wouldn't I be? She and I both knew how much time and effort I poured into preparing for the damn thing. I was not able to follow my training program to the letter, but we both knew that I did put in as much time into training as my body and schedule permitted. We both knew that thoughts of BDM consumed almost each of my waking hours, and that hardly any conversation passed without me blurting out something relating or alluding to BDM.  I told her that I cannot recall ever having wanted something this badly since my Bar exams and our wedding day. She believed me completely.

And just like that, it felt like I was back in law school, listening to my Crim Law professor deliver his prophetic line. Except only that I wasn't laughing.